what's in a name?

So I'm in a weird place name-wise. I always knew I would take Husband's last name. But the marriage certificate hasn't come yet (it's been almost 2 months? maybe I should make a phone call...) so officially I still have my maiden name. I changed it on FB, and when I started telling people what the new name would be, the general consensus was that it sounded natural, it flowed, like it had always been my name (probably helps that half of Husband's family has J first names, including him! ...we're going to have the same first, middle AND last initials). But since it's not my legal name yet, I've noticed lately I'm conflicted when I have to tell people. I was at the pharmacy today and I actually had to think for a second, which last name to say when asked my name. I guess that's a sign I've made the right decision for me. I can't wait to change it legally so everything else can be changed. Even at work, my email is maiden name first initial, my email signature is still my maiden name (it's going to get confusing there's a lot of people I communicate with regularly on a daily basis, in different parts of the country, that I've never met), my business cards are old. But women do this all the time right? I feel like I'm doing this radical thing, taking on a new name to better shape my new identity, even though that's completely the opposite of how things are in this day and age of feminism. Anyway, random thoughts aside, my new last name is pretty awesome, I love it.

pre-party

Okay. I'm ready. I was cool as a cucumber throughout the whole wedding planning process. I knew what was important to me and I absolutely didn't care about the rest. It wasn't until the day before the wedding when I started feeling worried and guilty, for the most ridiculous reasons.

You see, this winter has been one of the craziest and most unpredictable I've ever seen in California. As soon as the 10-day forecast began to include our wedding date it read rain. rain rain crazy thunderstorm showers rain. All along I totally knew that this was a possibility and though to myself "so what, I love rain! we could take fun umbrella pictures! it'll be so cozy!" So we had the rentals delivered and tent set up thursday before the wedding. Thursday night was an out-of-control rain/wind storm. When we arrived at Husband's (!) parent's house Friday morning to start setting up, we discovered that the tent had shifted about a foot away from the house (despite the multiple 55 gallon drums full of water that it was staked off to), away from the overhang and the wind had pushed the rain in and the entire ground (and all of the tables) were soaked. It was freezing cold and wet still. We had rented a heater, but it only had 10 hours worth of propane that needed to last through the end of the day saturday so we didn't want to exhaust that one. We pulled the tables into the garage and wiped them down. We brought out a space heater and a professional grade steamer to begin steaming the giant round table cloths that we had purchased...thinking that maybe we should have started doing that sooner. And then we blew the circuit in the garage. twice if I'm not mistaken. meanwhile the bulk flowers were brought in and were beginning to be arranged, linen napkins were being folded, vases and centerpieces assembled. A few of my bridesmaids showed up to help, which was wonderful.

No one was letting me do anything, which was fine because I had started freaking out that all of my guests would be soaked and frozen the following day. I drove to Sacramento to pick up my aunt and cousin at the airport, where it was sunny, and got a text from my parents that it had begun to hail and then snow. perfect.

I get back to the reception set up chaos to find out from Husband that one of his best friends and one of our supplemental photographers, who lives in colorado, told him the night before, after avoiding Husband's calls for about a week, that he "couldn't afford the trip". Which is totally understandable in and of itself, but c'mon dude, you JUST figured out you couldn't make it?? a little notice would've been nice. Also his bachelor party the night before ended in a bit of drama... So husband is pissed. yay wedding...

Out of the whole day I had maybe folded one napkin and moved one candle. People kept telling me to eat and not help. All the while my family members are freaking out, being impatient, snapping at each other. (we don't do well under pressure and time constraints...)  So I decided to go to the hotel to check in for the night. My mind was still freaking out so I decided to just hang out at the hotel until the rehearsal dinner. So I call one of my bridesmaids at the reception site to tell her I wouldn't be coming back, and she tells me "actually I'm at an urgent care right now, I started feeling dizzy and having shortness of breath and I've been sick on and off for a few months now and I just really needed to get checked out." turns out the poor thing had bronchitis! so I told her to skip the rehearsal and she could take her antibiotics and pass out in my hotel room and we'd see how she was feeling in the morning.

By this time I'm not doing so well. I text Husband to tell him about bridesmaid, turns out he's in the hotel too, hanging out in his friends room. So he comes up and we just sat and he told me that everything will be alright (that is totally his catchphrase). It completely calmed me down. And it reaffirmed that he's the one I'm supposed to be married to.

The rest of the evening zoomed by. The rehearsal went well, Husband's film school directorial training totally came out as he began ordering people about. Lots of laughing and it was so fun to finally get all of our family and wedding party into the same room. (fun fact, this was the first time my parents met Husband's dad and step mom, even though they live approximately 5 miles away from eachother and we've been dating for 5 years. weird huh?). Dinner was delish, pretty sure I don't have a single photo, but we ordered approximately 12 large chicago style pizzas and had lots of leftovers!

Next up: Bridesmaid bonding!

perspective

In August, Fiance's stepfather, Dennis, was diagnosed with Stage 4 liver & colon cancer. This man was the picture of health, ate super healthy, exercised all the time, everything about him was in excellent shape, except that he had cancer. Fiance's entire family was incredibly optimistic right out the gate. They have excellent senses of humor and just treated it like something that happened and they would move on. They said to move forward with the wedding, and they are planning a trip to europe in march/april. For me? I was absolutely terrified. Everyone I've ever known who has had cancer, friends and family, haven't survived. In my mind, cancer = death. I literally would just force myself not to think about it, I wouldn't believe it.

And so Dennis went through chemo like a champ, didn't even lose his hair. After Thanksgiving he had surgery where 70% of his liver was removed. While very thin, he was in excellent spirits when we saw him at Christmas. Then he began chemo again in January, this round wasn't going as well and was attacking too much of his healthy cells so they decided to do surgery #2 early. The first week of February he had his surgery in San Francisco and so Fiance's mom wasn't able to make it to my bridal shower. He was supposed to be in the hospital for a week and ended up leaving 2 days early. I just saw him yesterday after coming home to begin wedding preparations and he is doing well. Still recovering, still thin, but still the same Dennis, teasing everyone and playing guitar.

So for me, planning for the past 6 months or so can be reduced down to a simple thought:
As long as Fiance and I are married by the end of the day and Dennis is there to celebrate with us, I don't care about anything else.

There's been a quite a few ideas and projects that have fallen by the wayside and honestly I just don't care. (sorry programs...and out of town bags...) I just want our families together. Even though Dennis can't really stay for the whole reception because that is far too many germs for his low immune system, he'll be at the ceremony. I will have photos of him. and I am so blessed and thankful for that.

status update

We have our luggage.
We have our wedding bands.
Fiance is driving up home on Sunday.
I'm flying up Tuesday night.
We have an appt to pick up our marriage license on Wednesday.
I've been listening to our super awesome spectacular wedding playlist compiled by Fiance.

Now I'm on my way to get my hair done at drybar with my cousin/maid-of-honor then on to my super fun bachelorette party!

mirrors

This time next week I'll be heading to our wedding rehearsal. It's getting more and more surreal.

So I thought I'd touch on some of those beauty issues that I slammed the WIC about in the beginning.

I got a couple facials and invested in some quality skin products. Because I've had less than stellar skin since the minute I turned 13 and, now that I can afford to, it's time I really started taking steps toward improving that. Not only did the facials help my skin a bit, but they're just ridiculously relaxing.

I'm using teeth whitening strips. Because I've never really had white teeth.  Because I've been meaning to whiten my teeth for years now. And $30 Aquafresh strips are worth it to me. Also, they totally work. Especially if you accidentally fall asleep and leave them in for 4 hours instead of 45 minutes. (yeah totally pulled a Ross) My gums were just totally destroyed for a few days...all better now though!

I've been making the effort to eat healthy, lots of veggies and no fast food. But since this all about honesty and stuff, I'll be up front. I'm in the worst shape of my life. Partially because I've been spending 12 hours a day sitting in front of a computer. I've started to enjoy running, but it's dark when I leave in the morning and dark when I get home and I don't have a gym membership. Plus I'm just plain exhausted. So the whole exercising thing has been difficult for me. (my dress still fits though).

BUT.  I'm just so gosh darn happy. I'm so excited about the wedding, I'm so in love with Fiance, I adore my job (despite working all the time). Llife has been so wonderful. Yes, there's little hiccups, yes Fiance and I have had fights within the last month. But looking at the grand scheme of things, life is good.

So. advice for the week before the wedding. Just do stuff that makes you happy. Enjoy everything. Listen to some Billy Joel, buy a dress that makes you feel super pretty, get dressed up for dinner and a movie with the girls, snuggle with Fiance...well at least these all worked for me.

toasty warm feets

people's generosity continues to amaze me.

today my coworkers threw me a surprise wedding BBQ for lunch. they kept it a secret for a couple weeks. Not only was there hot dogs, burgers (with ALL the fixings you can imagine), baked beans, homemade potato salad, a giant cake, and ice cream...they also pooled together to get a gift off our registry. and not just any gift, but the kitchenaid stand mixer! I'm so excited to play with it! It was such a wonderful surprise, my work is awesome. and the bridal shower paper plates and napkins were a nice touch on a construction site ;D

bridal shower #2 post coming soon. I swear. last week was...rough. I literally flew back from my parents monday morning and drove straight to work. the rest of the week snowballed after that. but the weekend turned around. we took one of our bffs out to a birthday drinks and dinner friday night. Sunday we celebrated valentine's day with lunch at a cute little retro diner and a movie. and one last shopping trip for my rehearsal dinner dress.

Saturday, when fiance went to work I did a little shopping for my trousseau... I'm just going to say it was way fun, slightly awkward and majorly confidence boosting - if all those adjectives can make sense together.



less than 2 weeks away a-peoples! (bonus points for guessing the movie reference there)
still soooo soo excited!

the final countdown

one month guys. that's it.

and all I have on my mind is trying to decide what I'm going to wear to the rehearsal dinner and a craving for In N Out Burger tonight.

what up WIC? can I say suck it on in the internet? k cool.

My life these days involves being super excited about our New York honeymoon, good conversations and laughs with Fiance, and arriving at a point where I can leave work at work - even with 3 weeks straight of 12 hour days. Letting go my dears, living life. It's lovely.

checkity check check

Invitations are officially out of my hands. Mailed those off Monday afternoon and by Tuesday afternoon people were starting to receive them! I've been getting some compliments on my DIY attempt. I'll try to take some pictures this weekend when I'll actually be around when there's sunlight. I'm still working pretty much sunrise to sunset with minimal lunch breaks.

Also this weekend is my (1st) bridal shower! I'm just so excited to see my girls and family. I was having a bit of an outfit crisis though. 2 bridal showers, bachelorette party, rehearsal dinner, and then the honeymoon in NYC. I'm a devout fashion addict. Luckily I have a bad habit of buying dresses on a whim. So I went through my wardrobe and realized I pretty much had all the events covered.

The past couple weeks have been rough relationship-wise. It seems like for the past few years, Fiance has worked early morning shifts. Then pretty much right after we moved in together he got switched to closing shift which means he doesn't get home until around 10 pm, and I have to wake up at 5 am and I'm one of those who needs lots and lots of sleep, so I usually am already in bed by 10. So we haven't really seen much of each other lately. He's been working at least one day of the weekend also. We're about 6.5 weeks away from the wedding and I feel like we haven't had any time to grow our relationship. stupid work.

all around the world...

So the guest list for this wedding has been very...fluid. It's been a lot of phone calls/emails with our parents, post-its with addresses all over my life. It started with our immediate families and closest friends, people we talk to on a regular basis (not just facebook birthday greetings once a year). I'm just glad it's not terrible etiquette that some people will be getting invites but never got save-the-dates. And it's not like we have an A list/B list. More that I'm scatterbrained, my parents forgot to mention someone, (or fiance still hasn't gotten his friend's addresses for me...haha) and we've made some new very close friends over the past couple months.

I finally just got everyone & their addresses into a little address book, because that is just so much easier for me to look at than any word document or spreadsheet. Technically we have 147 people including spouses, (or long-term established significant others - we're kinda playing this one by ear) and children. However, in my family, it is customary to include the extended relatives (i.e. my parents' aunts & uncles, cousins, second cousins...) in all invites, announcements, and christmas card lists. Though no one ever actually shows up to anything and they are spread out all over the US, though particularly in the midwest and east coast. There's about 40 of these family members so that cuts the list down.

I'm understanding why so many people are doing the e-vite thing these days. Not only it is simpler and less paper, it's just so much easier to get ahold of people in this day and age electronically. I've already had to update about 20 addresses just since sending out the save-the-dates! I have a lot of retired relatives that spend summer in one place and winter in another. And I have a lot of young 20s and/or still in college friends who bounce around between different living arrangements often. Which brings me to 2 more reasons why the actual guest list will diminish. 1) Many of my friends are 20-somethings and/or in college and can't afford to travel to the wedding. and 2) Some of my friends are way too awesome and keep traveling all over the world so a) I can't keep track of them and/or b) they will be out of country for the wedding. I know for a fact one friend will be in Peru and another will be in Uganda.

My feelings totally aren't hurt by anyone not being able to make it. I know they all love me and they are leading crazy awesome lives. They will be there for me in other ways and I will be there for them too. A Wedding is not the be-all, end-all friendship determinator.

Even if every single other person were to show up. Say all those 2nd cousins decided that February in Iowa on the farm is pretty darn cold and an excuse to go to California sounds like a pretty good idea. It wouldn't be a big deal. The more the merrier as far as I'm concerned. I know that can't be the case for all weddings out there. But for us, we're serving hors d'ouevres and dessert buffet, not a sit-down meal. The venue is my future parents-in-law's house which is plenty big enough to hold extra people. We have some flexibility.

honey do list

I'm back from our whirlwind trip home for Christmas, it was a nice mental break. and now back to the 12 hour days at work! But to backtrack, the same night I wrote that last post, Fiance came home from work close to 10 pm and surprised me along with his friends all dressed up in santa hats and antler headbands with presents. Totally put me in the christmas spirit, it was adorable. Reason #20934897 why I'm marrying that man.

We got a few things accomplished while home. Bought Fiance's suit for the wedding. And since Men's Warehouse was having their Buy One Get One Free Sale (anything in the store, seriously ANYTHING), he got 2 of everything. We also set up suit rentals for the groomsman. I agree rented suits usually fit horribly and they're pretty cookie cutter (which is why we decided to buy one for Fiance, plus every man needs a nice suit or 2). However, the majority of our boys don't own a suit and aren't really in a position to spend the money on one. Each of them is so completely different from the next, they'll stand out on their own accord.

We worked out some details for Bridal Shower #2 which my mom will be hosting in Northern California.

My mom showed me her stash of wedding decor that is slowly taking over my old bedroom. milk glass vases, candles galore (really amazing flameless pillar candles actually, gorgeous!) silver platters, beverage dispensers, a couple really awesome twinkly light branches, and cheese board slates. Soon to be added to the pile: table cloths and napkins.

We taste tested some amazing pastries we found online, if you scroll down almost to the bottom you'll find the miniature desserts and pastries. They're totally pre-made and are shipped to you frozen in a well-insulated package. They're pretty and DELICIOUS. We're going to order a few different kinds to add to the dessert buffet. YUM.

My mom worked out a contract with the florist. My new choice of bouquet (anemones) is about 10% of what it originally was for the lily-of-the-valley. score.

I wasn't really sure what I would be doing the night before the wedding. I had sort of planned on staying at my parents and getting ready there, but there's not enough room for the rest of the girls to stay overnight and it's totally the opposite direction from the ceremony/reception sites. Plus it's going to be super hectic because my grandparents will be staying there and my grandma will be working on the cake. So my dear mother came up with an excellent plan. There's an adorable tiny little bed & breakfast across the street from the church. My parents offered to pay for my girls and I to stay there the night before the wedding. So Friday we'll have the rehearsal at the church, walk around the corner to this awesome Chicago style pizza place for the rehearsal dinner and then just walk back to the B&B, spend the night and get ready all together Saturday. I love this plan. One last night with all my girls, and it's super convenient.

We're less than 2 months away! So excited!

blue christmas

Today was a half day at work but I still got there early and worked through lunch and ended up putting in 8 hours anyway. Work is totally kicking my butt, I love what I'm doing but there's so much to do, I've been working some really long hours and it sounds like it won't stop for the next couple months...perfect, all my time leading up to the wedding. I'm very glad I delegated the heck out of all this stuff. I'm totally over planning anything else. My mom is on the ball with most of the logistical stuff at this point: ordering table cloths, blocking rooms at the hotel. I just answer her questions and I'm good with going along with whatever we've got going at the moment. I'm ready to just show up at this point. I really am not concerned with any more details. (edit: i totally almost forgot the ONE item on my to-do list: print the dang invites! we bought the paper last weekend. now to hook up the printer...)

Fiance and I actually get to go home, albeit for a 3-day (hopefully 4 if he can get monday off) weekend which includes drive time to Northern California (400ish miles) both ways. I'm looking forward to seeing our families. One year we'll actually plan and sort out Christmas Day a little better. The past 4 years we keep ending up driving back and forth a million times between my parents, his mom and stepdad and his dad and stepmom. At least they all live in a 10 minute radius. But different relatives like my grandparents or his niece and nephews would be there at different times (or usually show up to the respective houses at the same time so we're splitting an hour or so between 2 houses). This whole visiting with family/holiday planning was part of our marriage preparation classes. I think we might need to discuss in more detail after we're married.

I'm getting by alright and going to bed at grandma o'clock so I'm getting enough sleep. The worst thing is it just doesn't feel like christmastime to me. christmas is my favorite time of year. yet this year I've hardly listened to christmas music, or done much baking or christmas shopping or even decorating. Tomorrow is christmas eve and at the moment it just feels like another day.

let there be internet!

finalllllyyyy got the internet installed.  I've missed this. and you guys. I can't believe miss anna's all marriaged now!

it's been a busy past few weeks. moving, thanksgiving, craziness at work, both of our birthdays! too busy, I told fiance I can't wait for life to be boring again just so I can get some more sleep, and catch up on my shows (and not have 892 unread blog posts in google reader)...but at this point that won't be happening until after the wedding. I wouldn't recommend moving the weekend before thanksgiving, at least we weren't hosting! The living areas of our little place are actually looking quite presentable, but perhaps that is because of the spare bedroom/office/storage/i-don't-know-where-to-put-this-so-it-goes-in-here room of death. there isn't even a walking path right now. and me, the messy chaotic one is dying over it even with the door closed. we'll get there right?

Definitely need to FIND the printer so I can get those invitations printed up...before christmas. yikes deadlines are looming. Cousin has been coming up with some super awesome ideas for the bridal shower and bachelorette. can't wait! We're locking in a contract with our photographer friend. and with the florist. My mom's friend Suzy is DIY-ing to her heart's content. We mapped out a floor plan for the reception and my mother has begun ordering different items online. We're trying to finalize honeymoon plans. I feel like a broken record, just continually reciting my to-do list (which keeps growing), maybe in hopes that I won't forget anything.

We're under 90 days away...um what??? Hearing that really threw fiance into gear, kind of a reality check. so this whole wedding thing is actually real?

pack it up

Hmmm, my to-do list is suddenly growing a mile a minute. At the same time that my bank account is quickly shrinking. It'll bounce back, just too many bills and payments all at once. Because...we got an apartment! Found it Saturday, turned in applications Sunday, got approved Monday and paid the deposit today. Since it's vacant now we're going to get the keys TOMORROW. This is happening fast! SO exciting, but fast. Since I just put in my 30 days on Monday we can take our time stretching out the moving process, but still, Fiance and I will be living together by Thanksgiving! It's exactly where we've been wanting to live: a great little, quiet neighborhood but still only a mile from downtown Burbank which is super adorable. Hardwood floors, 2 bedrooms, 2 full baths, a REAL kitchen (stove AND dishwasher), fireplace(!), central air...and all within our budget. And also 2.3 miles from where my job will be moving to in December. SCORE.

Now it's time to decide on a photography package from the awesome miss shannon
determine how many and what size tables we'll be renting, not to place the rental order but to buy tablecloths
get the printer set up (in our NEW place) to start spitting out invites
and actually assemble a shower guest list with addresses for lady cousin friend

Even though we're entering that phase that everyone dubs "boring wedding action time" now I have apartment decorating to occupy my creative endeavors. Because moving from a studio to a 2 bedroom means emptiness. Time to start hitting the flea markets!

(not so excited to have to pack and unpack again after moving only 4 months ago...)

life love and stuff

it's been a weird couple weeks. I have about 10 unfinished posts...I've been battling sporadic insomnia, complete loss of appetite, a rather difficult co-worker, and I had to fork over ridiculous amounts of money because my car broke the one time I've driven it in the past month. With less than 4 months to go, I can feel the wedding items starting to become more urgent.

Finalizing things with the florist, I decided to nix the lily-of-the-valley and go for another favorite of mine: anemones. they are both beautiful, very french feeling and about a 1/5 of the cost. Inspiration:

(top photo taken by Jessica Claire, bottom via ruffled)

Next on my to-do list:

prepare guest list for bridal shower (which my awesome cousin/maid of honor is planning, can't wait!)

print/address/send invites - Fiance and I will be visiting a Paper Source storefront this weekend as I have boycotted online shopping due to UPS failures. At least this way I can see the options in person before purchasing.

Also on the life to-do list: Fiance and I are apartment hunting this weekend! This is about the 3rd weekend, but the first time we're really seriously and intently looking. I'm a pretty independent person and love my alone time, I don't regret living on my own these past few months but I'm so LONELY. I definitely did not expect it. I thought it would be really difficult for me to transition into living with another person (someone I love, but nonetheless a boy ::cue Monica Gellar whine "I have to live with a boy!"::). But I find myself counting down the days until moving in together. Every time he leaves after we hang out gets harder and harder.

So basically, I'm kind of just ready to be married already. 

Also not to be terribly shallow, but after going through this switch to salary and filling out benefit enrollment forms (and freaking out after seeing how much of my paycheck was gone due to taxes ::Rachel Green "Who's this FICA guy? and why's he taking all my money??"::) I realized that being married really does help out financially. When calculating witheld taxes I was like "ohhhh maybe this is why so many people get married..." Friends I'm KIDDING. they get married for love. right? right.

p.s. yes that was 2 Friends references in one day. I'm kind of missing having a television for the re-runs...

golden

so my mom met with the florist. Who we knew would be all kinds of amazing, just from their email correspondence. She's all over the lavender/herbs/italy-inspired thing. Apparently she's really sweet and totally accommodating. She loves the very organic, natural looking flowers, non-perfect arrangements. We are going to have lavender, herbs, olive branches and non-traditional white flowers galore. Also, the lily-of-the-valley bouquet that I had my heart set on? Totally in season. It's happening, yay! She's be arranging bouquets, corsages, a couple boutonnieres for the dads and grandpas (fiance is not a fan...) and she's making a flower headband for my soon-to-be niece. adorable! The rest of the flowers she'll be supplying to us in bulk for ms. suzy to arrange. They will be well hydrated and carefully delivered.

edit:
(this post has been sitting open for about 2 days...) So we got an estimate back! Everything is incredibly reasonable except...holy crapola the bouquet I want costs as much as my dress. I kid you not. There's no way I'm paying that much. I really just like the aesthetic look of the flowers. but I have learned that apparently Jackie O, Princess Grace Kelly and Audrey Hepburn (and Barbra Streisand?) all had lily of the valley bouquets, so I suppose they are popular for those reasons. So plan B=pick. different. flower. plan C=get silk flowers? I've seen many rounds of the great artificial flower debate. I must do some soul searching, if I really have my heart set on the look of lily of the valley, then silk it will be. because they are only about 2% of the cost of real ones. even for high quality artificial. Plus apparently these flowers are not very sturdy and they die super easily. so outrageous sum of money for mayyyyybe 4 hours? uh, no. as dear cousin/maid of honor asked? are they dipped in gold?!?! sigh, wedding sticker shock.


so life is busy, and I am still awaiting details on a certain subject. patience is not a strength of mine friends.

JKLM....blah blah blah

So...I've finished all the "L's" for addressing save the dates. I'm kind of ready to give up now. Which is bad because my last name starts with M, as well as the majority of my family and a large number of friends end up later in the alphabet. So I'm not even remotely half way through. It's getting a bit boring and tedious. I see why printed labels are gaining acceptance. I don't even want to think about how I'd have to do all this AGAIN for the actual invites. Unfortunately I also don't have a printer at the moment...it is stored away in a box at fiance's. Nor can I afford the ink.

I tend to do this a lot with big projects. Plan and imagine to my heart's content. Make lists, spreadsheets and cover every possible surface with post-its containing well thought out and logical ways to accomplish ideas. When it comes time to actually DO it, I lose patience quickly and immediately find the easiest way out... not a very good character trait.

$#*!

Please tell me you have seen and laughed at this.
Next please tell me you watched this last night. 

I don't own a TV so I had to wait until today.
and just to make this wedding related, I will quote the twitter feed:
"Invite them. A wedding is a loaded gun. Don't be the a--hole staring down the barrel asking which button makes the boom noise."
"Engagement rings are pointless. Indians gave cows...Oh sorry, congrats on proposing. We good now? Can I finish my indian story?"
So much genius.

life

busy busy busy. the meetings are almost over at work. But then project start up will begin and it will be hectic some more. I'm still working 9-10+ hour days. Still loving it but I'm so drained. It took me three days to work up the energy (and notice I was out of towels) to do laundry...

There's been discovery of an illness in the (close) family. unsettling but we're incredibly optimistic. still. it makes all those wedding details pretty insignificant. this family member definitely still wants us to continue on as planned, it gives something to look forward to. at this point I could care less whether we have tablecloths as long at they are at the table you know?

I find that these life events, good, bad, and otherwise help me focus on what's important instead of adding stress to THE WEDDING. makes me care less and less about the wedding and more and more about the marriage that will be happening.

also. I think i'm hitting pro-status in the delegation department. It's almost like I have nothing to do (except goals below). which is a GOOD thing friends.

Goal: send out save-the-dates before october starts... (let's forget I wanted to get these out a month ago)
pre-goal: get everyone's addresses...

ventilation

you've got to be kidding me UPS. package number 2 should have been here the 2nd. Instead here's what I find:

Hmmm. That's funny. I have not spoken to this elusive UPS delivery person. I definitely don't have any emails or missed calls from you. who is this "customer" you've been consulting? where is this UPS facility? and why is there no customer service phone number on your website?!?!?! ahhhhhhhhhhh! just give my darn envelopes!

later...
so I learned the trick. call the hotline and keep pressing 0 until the recorded lady goes away and you can speak to an actual live human! basically my understanding is UPS fails at delivering to apartments. If you are not standing at the door when they arrive then they will just chuck your package into the "goes to UPS facility" pile. I guess apartment managers are not worthy of signing the UPS log in your place. then it sits at some semi-local UPS store for only 5 days unbeknownst to you (unless you are OCD about checking tracking numbers...which thanks now I will be). At least the customer service rep apologized.

well...what to do. I was planning on having lots of wedding stuff shipped to me. But it's kind of a pain to have to go pick up all my shipments 5 miles away (and friends in the heart of LA, 5 miles could take anywhere between 10 minutes and half an hour or more. especially since we'll be going right after I get off work, yay rush hour! at least the place doesn't close until 7). Plus picking up your stuff kind of defeats the purpose of online shopping.

Oh the battles I never imagined fighting during wedding planning. It seems to be the stuff that you would never expect to be so difficult. And I understand this is not remotely close to the end of the world, I'm really over the UPS part of this whole thing. This is my little corner to vent and share experiences right? but something as simple as shipping a package? we've only been doing that in the world for how long?? kind of reminds me of this bit from Mitch Hedberg:
"This product that was on TV was available for four easy payments of $19.95. I would like to have a product that was available for three easy payments and one complicated payment. We can't tell you which payment it is, but one of these payments is going to be hard. The mailman will get shot, the envelope will not seal, the stamp will be in the wrong denomination. Good luck. That last payment must be made in wampum."
Yep. Wedding planning will be mostly a smooth ride. But without warning, one tiny little thing will go in a complete opposite direction, defying all logic. And this is how brides end up spending 2 hours on a wedneday night ranting and raving over something like paper. no we're not monsters or unreasonable. we just got hit with the complicated payment and must rescue the mailman, invent new adhesive and resort to securing dollar bills to the envelope. and find a way to re-institute wampum as a form of currency.

even later...(after I have completely regained my wits though my night has been rendered useless).
Because Fiance is one smart cookie, we have a new plan of attack. turns out this paper supply company has storefronts in the area. so we will just physically waltz in and deal with them first hand. Cut out the UPS middleman. and if the store doesn't have everything we need? well then i'm having it shipped to the store and THEY can deal with the people in brown socks.

So.....wedding?

Do you ever get tired of talking about your wedding? Maybe tired is the wrong word. I feel like my words don't do justice to the ideas in my head and people (especially those with no experience in weddingblogland) are like "oh cool, i'm sure it'll be beautiful". I just saw and spoke with a bunch of friends this past week, ones that I haven't seen in a while. (Including a group of girls that I studied abroad with at Cambridge University 2 summers ago). They know about the engagement but nothing about the wedding. And as we're all chatty girls who love each other they want to know all about it. So I find myself walking the fine line about being that annoying girl who talks about weddings all the time and goes way too in depth, about things only wedding bloggers would get. So i think I accidently downplay things instead. "Um, we're getting married, church, his mom's house, appetizers, mid day...?" Although my Cambridge girls were quite amazed about my extensive network of friendors. And were super excited to hear about my dress.

My thoughts are a bit jumbled right now. I just got back from a night in palm springs with my maid of honor cousin and after 110 degree heat, laying by the pool and the ACE's vodka sno cones, my brain is still mush. But on with the story, I have a hard time talking about myself and my plans in great detail. I am the listener. Yet when it's my turn to dish, I always find myself giving a super abridged version, minimizing excitement. It's ridiculous because these are my friends. I don't know if I feel like I'm coming off as self-absorbed? Or trying to explain how awesome I think it will be to have little potted herbs as decor and I'm met with blank stares. So the next time I leave that part out. When co-workers ask how my weekend was I reply with "Oh we registered. It was super fun....blah blah blah." As we approach the 6 month mark (and have already surpassed 200 days-from the quiet reminding of our registries, NOT martha) I fear that elusive moment when suddenly all conversations and activities are wedding-related, in a bad way. Because I'm totally looking forward to the planning we have yet to do and the bridal showers and such to come. But there's so much more to me than that! Especially right now in my life! I already told Fiance we need to make an effort to do fun things and pursue topics that are interesting to us, because I refuse to let the wedding turn us into one-note people.

Hopefully when I see friends they will continue to ask "how are you doing? what's going on with you?" instead of or as well as "how's the wedding planning going?".