this is definitely the stress talking (last finals week EVER) but here goes anyway. having a relationship long distance SUCKS. being engaged long distance is no fun. because of school we've only been able to see each other once every two weeks. we talk on the phone every day but lately that has been detrimental. we're tired of living 80 miles apart and having separate lives. we've been fighting more frequently mostly due to frustration of not being able to see each other's face and be in each other's presence. Misinterpretation (of tone, wording, lack of words) has been ruling our lives and it is not cool.
The length of our engagement was the ONLY compromise we had to make with our parents. A 15 month engagement instead of 10, so that I could start working and they could save money. I kind of wish we had to compromise on something else. I don't necessary wish that we were getting married next month or anything, but maybe that he had proposed later? I don't know. I want to be married asap, but february just makes the most sense for us. I need time to actually get a job and maybe actually start a savings account, stop living off my parents. And finding an entry level job in this economy is going to take a lot longer than I had thought. I graduate Saturday and have no prospects.
Meg is doing a series on money this week and I'm looking forward to it. Although her readership tends to be a generation ahead of me, people with careers and assets, I need advice for the young and poor demographic. Money terrifies me and being unemployed with no savings and getting MARRIED is unthinkable.
I know I know, it'll be okay, and we have plenty of people that support us. but at this time in my life there are far more unknowns than knowns and trying to balance this equation is just plain scary.